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Mr Pickles run a weekly wedding surgery on Tigerlily on a Friday. If you have any wedding questions please make sure you email him at MrPickles@tigerlilyweddings.co.uk
Dear Mr Pickles
I’m glad your name is Pickles because I’ve got into my very own with my wedding guest list.
I was hoping to have a small ‘family + close friends only’ wedding. However, I made the mistake of leaving some spare wedding invitations out when my cleaning lady was round the other day.
For some reason, now she seems to think she is invited too! And she is so excited at the prospect. I really do like her and I don’t want to appear rude or offend. And I always live by the maxim: look after your staff. So what do I do?
Do I say: you are welcome to come to the church but the reception is family only and run the risk of upsetting the person who stops my home life disintegrating into the set of Shameless? Or do I just bite the bullet and welcome her and her husband to the whole day with open arms?
Part of me thinks she’s being a little pushy. I’m very confused!
What would Mr Pickles do?
All the best
Thank you so much for writing to me, I agree this is a difficult situation indeed, but one I can help you remedy quickly.
The etiquette of a receiving an invitation is to receive a personalised delivered invite with the guest name or names.
Your cleaner is probably very excited for you and seen the loose invite and assumed you may have left this out for her.
I feel going forward the best way to manage this miscommunication would be to invite her and her husband to the ceremony only and put a note in to say that the reception is a small family affair.
I am sure she will be over the moon to see you get married and will appreciate that the wedding breakfast and evening reception is a private celebration.
Please see this link to the Debrett’s website which is the authority of all things stylish and etiquette, in wording ceremony and evening reception invites.
Sending lots of love your way.